Kiss Audition - an actress short short story from Rob Hopcott's short stories collection

"I'm Jack. It's a bit snugly in here," he said, settling his thickset body down besides me in the small audition waiting room.

Two upright chairs filled the floor with a forlorn flower dumped on the window ledge because there wasn't space for a table. The room smelled of damp. Fifty years ago, some idiot had painted the walls red. They were beginning to make me feel sick.

His thigh rubbed against mine. He didn't seem to mind but I did.

"I'm here to play the young man."

"I'm Jill, the female part."

"Jack and Jill. That sounds great!"

I didn't think so. His boyish face and fair hair could have looked endearing but was set in a chubby body with a huge personality deficit.

His plump hand patted my knee. My short summer dress had been a mistake, I should have worn jeans - preferably with thick leggings. This whole audition was becoming a nightmare - but I needed the money. The rent hadn't been paid for several months and the reason why I was slim was I couldn't afford to eat.

'Kiss' was the name of the short film funded by a grant for an arts festival. There were only three roles and my agent had said the third part was an old man. My spirits sank right down to my non existent leggings.

Jack was on a high. He'd obviously decided this slim waif with dark hair was prime pulling territory.

"Fancy a quick snog now? Sort of a warm up before we get out on the stage?" he leered.

I didn't. Perhaps the local supermarket had a job going for a fully trained out of work actress. Anything would be better than this.

The door banged back and a diminutive producer with a pronounced lisp shepherded us onto the stage, haphazardly set up to suggest a living room.

"I'm Gerald, the action is mainly about kissing, as you might have guessed. No surprises here. Give the audience what they expect." He smiled limply.

"One good thing, from your point of view, is that there are no other applicants so you've got the parts and the money from the grant is in the bank so you'll get paid."

No way out then, I thought. My spirits fell to a point well below my boots.

An old man with a heavy beard shuffled onto the stage. He looked as if he'd been living rough.

Gerald looked pleased.

"Ah good, we are all present. Let's get started."

"The story is about a young girls feelings and reactions to the act of kissing. The film consists mainly of a monologue, spoken by the girl."

Jack looked miffed, obviously expecting a bigger speaking role. He interrupted, snidely.

"Isn't there a slight technical problem with that? How's she going to do the monologue and kiss at the same time."

"Please don't interrupt, Jack, I'm trying to explain."

Gerald clearly wasn't going to stand for any nonsense.

"The plot revolves around an orphan girl who is adopted by a same sex couple. It is they that do the kissing."

Jack instantly turned a colour even more sickly than the walls of the waiting room.

Me, I was on a roll and fervently hoped the film would be a huge success, become a West End play and run and run.

The End


Rob Hopcott

(On-line author - fiction - news)

Copyright Rob Hopcott 2007. All characters in this actress short short story and other free on-line short stories, flash fictions, micro-fictions or very short stories on this site are fictitious and no reference is intended to any person living or otherwise.